Oliver's Christmas Carol
by epic sweetness712
Summary: This takes place after 2.07. Oliver get's into trouble and gets hurt. While he's 'down', he gets a visit and makes a few realizations about the people around him. "This is his Christmas carol, despite the fact that it's not Christmas" -Well it's a bit past Christmas for us, but I just really like that line.
1. the introduction

**Authors note: **So I actually had this idea before finding out that the next episode is sort of "The Christmas Carol" theme too- weeks ago really, but I'm just now posting it. I gotta say this was fun to write and has been bouncing inside my head long enough, so I figured I'd share this with you guys now- especially since Christmas is just around the corner. **Disclaimer: **I do not own Arrow or it's characters- just like playing in the proverbial sandbox for a while.

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**Chapter 1**

"_Oliver!...What do we… foundry?..." _

Oliver couldn't make sense of what was being said. He thought the voice sounded familiar though, a feminine _worried_ voice. He didn't know why she would be worried though, he felt oddly at peace. He could vaguely feel something sticking out of his back, maybe more than one something, but he couldn't tell what it was.

The last thing he remembered was… _Felicity! Yes, that's who it had to of been speaking to him._ Felicity was speaking to him through his ear from the foundry guiding him while he patrolled the Glades. _He was… chasing something or someone and then… and then… He couldn't remember. Why couldn't he remember? _If he couldn't remember what he needed to, then he couldn't warn them. _'But what was I supposed to remember'_

If anything was making sense to him at all, it was the fact that he couldn't move or at least his arms and legs weren't responding they way they should have. With startling clarity he realized that he was losing a lot of blood and dots were starting to cloud his vision. He was losing consciousness and fast.

The only thing that he could get to come out his mouth before he drifted off was-

"_He's alive!"…._

* * *

Oliver gasped wide awake at his desk and knew in a few moments something was wrong…_ very wrong. _He was in… _his office_.

If he didn't know any better, he could just tell himself that he fell asleep while trying to make sense of the paperwork. It had happened before, much to his dismay because Felicity slapped him awake and chided him that he didn't want Isabel to find him asleep in his office with his assistant. Of course then she rambled on to say that wasn't what she had meant by sleeping with his assistant. He'd never tell her that her rambles were usually his bright spot of the day- though he did suspect that she already knew that. She always knew what he was trying to say or not say even if she herself couldn't formulate words correctly when she spoke.

'_Speaking of Felicity, where is she?'_

He looked around his office and through the glass walls that separated his office from hers, but couldn't spot her anywhere. He thought maybe perhaps what happened earlier in the alleyway was a dream or a _nightmare. _

"It wasn't a dream."

Oliver turned his head to the person who spoke.

"Thea? What are doing you doing here?" he asked.

"I dunno? What _am _I doing here? You tell me." she said tilting her head.

"Thea I don't have time for games! What is going on? Where is Felicity?" he asked her getting agitated when she gave him a cryptic response.

"You see, you're not asking the right questions Oliver…_sigh…_ But you are right about one thing though." Thea said while looking at a green crystal paperweight that was on his desk. She toyed with it in her hands for a few moments. Oliver remembered that was the gift he got from Felicity when he first started his role as CEO. The paperweight had an arrow on the side wrapping itself around the circular object. Thea placed it back on his desk in the same spot she had picked it up from, as if she had even never touched it.

"_Ahem, _Oliver? Don't you want to know what you're right about?" She asked him getting his attention. When he didn't respond, she gave him one of her patented eye roles and continued while coming around his desk. Thea stood in front of him.

"_Time! _You really_ don't_ have time to play games."

For some reason that he couldn't remember, her words caused a chill to go down his spine. He swallowed.

"Why don't I have time Thea?" He whispered.

"Look around you Ollie?! Does anything seem out of place? And before you start- more out of place than Felicity not sitting at her desk."

Now that Oliver thought about it, the walls were in odd positions and the door that led to the conference room from his office was gone. The color scheme seemed off, what was usually a warm atmosphere, suddenly seemed colder. Part of him thought that was probably due to the fact that his assistant wasn't sitting at her post. He could've also sworn that when he woke up it was sunny, he got up from his chair and looked out the floor to ceiling windows- the city was bathed in darkness with light only coming from the moon. A full moon, which if Felicity was here she would of told him that it added to the creepiness and sinister factor. The city seemed dark, sounds of ambulances and fire trucks could be heard along with gun shots and explosions.

Oliver didn't know what was going on, but he thought '_Thea was right-_ _things were definitely out of place.'_

"Is this real?" He wondered aloud.

"Now we're getting somewhere" she said relieved.

"What is _going on?" _He said as he turned to face her.

"If you had to guess, what do you think _is _going on Ollie?" She asked expectantly.

"You said earlier, that it wasn't a dream. Is _this _the dream?" Oliver asked.

"_Bingo!_ You've finally asked the right question. And for your information… _Yes_, this is a dream"

"If this is a dream then, what's happening while I'm…_asleep?" _He questioned.

"Don't you worry your green little hooded head over that just yet Ollie, all in good time." Thea patronized.

"If this is a dream then-_ you're_ not really here. What are you?" He walked towards her, observing her. She rolled her eyes again at his question.

"Your subconscious, _duh!"_

"_Why-" _He started, but was cut off.

"_Why_ _me right? *snort* _I ask myself that question every day, well I mean I guess _you _think Thea does or you ask yourself why you or… or I- I don't know! Stop confusing me and _yourself." _Thea or _not Thea _complained and carried on.

"If I had to guess why I'm Thea… _maybe, I don't know- _you feel guilty or something. I mean come on?! for guy who spends his every night under my club I don't see you very often. What's the deal with that?" she looked at him squinting her eyes trying to gage his answer. Before he could respond, _Not Thea _as he decided to call her- sighed and started speaking again.

"It doesn't matter, we're not here to talk about Thea just yet. We have a few pressing matters to discuss first and quite a few things that I need to show you. So let's get this show on the road." _Not Thea _said as she made that clicked sound at the back of her throat and snapped her fingers.

'_Very unlike Thea' _he thought.

"But if you said I didn't have time, then why are you showing me things? I have to wake up, find Felicity and Diggle. Warn them. I have to-" _Not Thea_ cut him off.

"_You_ can't do anything about that right now. It's okay, I'm sure Diggle and Felicity got to you by now and are heading to the foundry to fix you up as you speak to your subconscious who is dressed up as your sister… _Yep, _that didn't sound weird _at all… So…_ In the mean time I gotta question to ask you?" she asked looking at him expectantly.

"Which is?" He asked even though he was slightly disturbed with idea of her asking him a question.

"Have you ever seen _The Christmas Carol? _Why should I've even asked, of course you have. I would know because I'm you silly!" she laughed.

Oliver didn't know quite what say, he was relieved that she hadn't asked him anything deeper because he wasn't quite ready to acknowledge a few things. _Things- _if he was being honest with himself was putting off due to not being ready to come to grips with yet. But with her question, he had a bit of an idea where she was going to take this. As if she could his read his mind, which he guessed she could since he was really just talking to himself.

"And you would've guessed right and I'm so glad you see where I'm headed with this because now after this long, _arduous _introduction- _sigh…_It's time to take _the tour! _And like dad always said _no time like the present!"_

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**Authors note: **Any mistakes I make are mine and mine alone. Feel free to leave a review, as cliche as it is- they really do fuel me, especially since finals are right now. I should really be studying, but I wanted to post this before the mid season finale this Wednesday. More to come, so stick around please...


	2. the present, part one

**Authors note: **_Wow! __Two updates in two days! _I'm really on a roll with this. **Disclaimer: **Nope- I don't own Arrow or the characters. _Drats! Foiled again. _Oh well, onto the story now I guess.

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**Chapter 2~ the present part one. **

"_And like dad always said 'no time like the present'"_

"I don't think you're supposed to start with the present. Aren't we supposed to visit the past or something?" Oliver asked.

*_snort* "_When have you_ ever_ known Thea Queen to do what she _supposed _to do? _Hmm? _No, I'll do this the way I want to. Besides, I don't think you'll get the point if we don't do this a certain way" she said.

"If you're really just my subconscious talking, then shouldn't I _already_ know what point you're trying to make?" He pointed out questioning her logic. _'Well… really his own logic' _

"You'd think, but come on? When has _Oliver Queen_ ever been able to come to terms with his own emotions? And, since the island- _his inner demons_?_" _She questioned as she turned to face away from him and towards his office entrance.

"_Well looky here,_ here is our first stop of many on this little _'get to know thy inner self' _tour" Thea said in a bored voice. Oliver looked away from her and followed her line of sight, which just so happened to stop on the very person he's been looking for.

"_Felicity!?"_ He breathed out. Without thinking he quickly made his way out of his office to the assistant's desk.

"_Ol-Ollie wait!" _Thea tried to stop him from approaching Felicity too fast, but even in his own head, she still wasn't a match for his long legs.

"Felicity! I- Hey, Felicity?! Why..I" as hard as he tried, he couldn't get her attention. Felicity was sitting at her desk looking over paper work, oblivious to Oliver standing right next to her waving his hands in her face. When he got a closer look at her, he noticed that she was wearing the same outfit as she had the day he explained to her why he slept with Isabel. Her face looked defeated and weary; she looked like she didn't want to be there. Oliver didn't know what to think about that observation, he just wished that he could get her attention.

"_Felicity…" _he whispered.

"I tried to warn you before you ran off. She can't hear or see you. She's not really even here, she's just your imagination" Thea told him sadly.

"Then why bring her up?! Why are you showing me this?!" Oliver shouted.

"_Don't _get growly with me. This is _your _Christmas Carol" she countered.

"_Thea?! _It's not _Christmas_?!" he argued.

"It may not be Christmas, but it is your Christmas Carol and Felicity is one of those ghosts of regrets that you have to learn to come to terms with. _ "A learn from your mistakes'_ sort of thing." She said frustrated before taking a long a breath to calm herself and continue.

"And btw, even though it's not Christmas- the holiday _is_ just around the corner. You may want to start thinking about what you want to get her. Maybe even get Diggle a present. And let's not forget your sister and your mother. Have you even thought about what you want to get them? _Don't answer that. Of course you haven't. _Poor form if you ask me or_ yourself_." She huffed. Waving him off, she turned her attention to his assistant who sat behind her desk.

"_Now- _your _Girl Wednesday."_

"Girl _Friday." _Oliver corrected her absentmindedly while observing the Felicity his mind had conjured up.

"What_ever" _she said with an eye roll and carried on. Giving her attention back to his assistant.

"I wonder why she looks so down. You can tell that she hasn't been getting much sleep lately and she looks… _depressed…_ Nice top though." Oliver turned his head to glare at her_._

"_What?! _It's really just _you_ who thinks it's a nice top, don't argue with me. That's getting tiresome. _Huh, _no wonder why you don't have many friends. All you do is try and intimidate them with that growly look." She complained. Even though she wasn't really Thea, there were times he forgot that it wasn't really _her_ he was talking to.

Oliver squirmed where he was standing. It was kind of disturbing when your subconscious complains that you don't have many friends because you intimidate others. If Oliver could guess why he did that when he wasn't showing off his usual _'charming CEO façade' _around others, he'd say that maybe it was because even though he hadn't been the Arrow long '_he was the Hood longer'_ and he sometimes found it hard to escape that part of himself. He'd never tell Felicity or Diggle that because he was trying to forget that part of himself. Oliver didn't want to think about the sins that caused his best friend to die with the belief that he was _a monster. A killer. And he was._

"_Oh great! _Here we go again with the self loathing and the guilt trips. Don't you ever just get tired of constantly beating yourself up?" she said exasperated shaking her head at him.

Before Oliver could comment back, Felicity started gathering the paper work into a pile and rolled her chair backwards to get up. She didn't say anything, not that he really expected her to; she just sighed and made her way down the hall to the executive elevator. He glanced at Thea to figure out what to do next. Thea looked back at him with wide eyes and started flailing her arms at him.

"_Well? _Don't just stand there gawking at me. _Follow her_" she ushered him.

With those words they made their way to Felicity, following her into the elevator. She pressed the button for the sixteenth floor and with dread, he suddenly knew where she was heading. _Isabel Rochev's office._

Now he didn't really mind the fact that they were headed there, he just wondered _why_ Felicity was going there. She could've _literally gone anywhere_. But _no. _The Felicity that his mind conjured up _had _to go to the office of the women who walked out of his hotel room in time for Felicity to knock on his door and realize what exactly he did with that wretched woman. At the time, he hadn't really regretted it, but one look from Felicity's face and he felt like he had when he first landed on the island. He felt _lost. _

Lately he's been feeling like he can do nothing right. Trying to keep his mother from the death sentence; playing CEO when he doesn't know the first thing about what to do; going up against a corporate shark; trying to be friends with Laurel without being able to tell her that her sister's alive; and trying to be the hero that Tommy wanted him to be. If he was completely honest with himself, he would admit that he also wants to be the man that Felicity see's him as too. So when he saw her expression the moment she realized what he done with Isabel, that shuttered look on her face- he never felt more like an ass in his life. She was disappointed in him and _that gutted him._

Once the elevator stopped, they followed Felicity into Isabel's office. He noticed that the Felicity that was in _this_ office was not the same as the one in _his _office. With her head held high and shoulders straight, she went straight to Isabel through her own set of glass doors. Even though he saw that Felicity was trying to keep the mask of professionalism, he could still tell by her eyes that it was slipping with every step as she got closer to the corporate shark.

"_Ms. Smoak_ what are you doing here?" Isabel asked.

"Ol-Mr. Queen wanted me to drop the papers for the Phoenix account with you for the investors." Felicity told Isabel as she pushed her glasses back into place. Isabel sighed and shook her head as she stood up and made her way to Felicity, circling her.

"Ms. Smoak that wasn't what I meant by that question. What I meant was 'what are you doing_ here?' _as Oliver Queen's personal secretary. I mean surely you don't think you have a _'real' _chance. You're just the IT girl who got demoted to Mr. Queen's secretary because you happen to fit his fancy. And then you parade around him in those _short dress skirts_, hoping that he'll finally look at you as a women and _not a computer. _That is really _quite_ sad…" Isabel said stopping to face Felicity, tilting her head and looking at her as if she was some sort of lab rat.

"_Sheesh… Isabel Rochev- more like Isa'bitch' Rochev…" _Thea muttered.

"_Thank you_ Ms. Rochev for your insight, but I am here to drop off Mr. Queen's paperwork and that is all. So I will be on my way and will head back to _mine _and Mr. Queen's office. Is there anything you would like me to give Mr. Queen?" Felicity asked with an air of superiority and professionalism as she looked straight into Isabel's eyes. Isabel smiled ironically and made her way back to her desk and crossing her legs as she sat down. Waving Felicity off as she dismissed her.

"_No_ that'll be all Ms. Smoak." She said snottily.

"_Damn! Way to go Felicity! You show Ms. Isa'bitch' Rochev." _Thea cheered.

Felicity walked over to Isabel's desk and dropped off the papers. She turned around and made her way back to the elevator. Oliver started to go after her when Thea stopped him by grabbing on to his jacket sleeve and letting Felicity leave his sights as the elevator doors shut.

"Sorry there Ollie, but this is where we leave Felicity. _At least for now" _she said.

"_But-" _Oliver said not understanding what just happened, he turned back to the women who insulted his friend, only to find that Isabel was no longer in the room. He didn't know how Isabel could treat Felicity so cruelly and why Felicity would just take it- not say anything back.

"_Come on Ollie_, you know exactly why Felicity would just swallow those acerbic words. She_ doesn't _want to cause any problems for you. _I know, I know_- There's _nothing in this world _that Felicity could do that would make you not want her to be around you or that would embarrass you. _Even though she does it to herself in her own adorable way_. But did you ever think that maybe she doesn't know that- _that _she _does_ sort of feel like _your own personal computer_?" she questioned hesitantly.

Oliver really didn't know what to say, he didn't even know how he felt about that- _scratch that- _he knew _exactly _what he felt- _ashamed. _He was never good at telling others how he felt and often times when he tried to convey his feelings- he did the exact opposite what he should've done, subsequently screwing everything up and hurting those around him. _'Take what happened with Sarah and Laurel as case and point'_ that was why he thought it was best that he put space between him and Felicity a head of time. Although, the reasons he gave her weren't precisely the truthful ones, they would have to do. He couldn't stand the idea of hurting her like he had with every other woman in his life, especially since she was the one who knew so much about him, if not… _everything. 'Although maybe, not about the island yet.'_

"And why do you think that is Ollie?" Thea asked, but by her expression he could tell that she didn't think he was quite ready to answer the question just yet.

"_Fine, _you don't need to answer that just _yet. _It's too soon anyway, but…_sigh…_how about we focus again on what just happened, _hmm?" _She said, arching her eyebrow.

Oliver was really getting tired of self reflecting.

"_Well tough, because we just started Arrow boy_! But… we're almost done here. There's one more point that needs to be made before we can move on." She conceded.

"_Which is_?" he asked, eager to leave Isabel's office.

"I can't exactly just spell it out for you. You have to make the realization yourself, it's kind of how _these type of things_ work, ya know?" She could tell by his face that what she had said wasn't really helping matters, so to calm him down she offered him an idea. Thea came up to him and put her hands on his arms, made sure that he looked at her. She really wanted him to concentrate on what she was going to ask him.

"_Think_ Ollie, what did you think the outcome of sleeping with Isabel was going to be? Because you heard the way Isabel was talking about Felicity and you heard what she had said when she was leaving your hotel room. She said that she thought Felicity _'deserved a night off'_ what do you think she meant by that and why didn't you say anything?" Thea asked sadly.

Oliver took a deep breath. _He really needed to start thinking more about the consequences. _It's usually not a problem when he's out on the field. He was just trying to put Isabel off his scent. Felicity played such a huge role in his life and she was really close to the Arrow side of his life. Oliver never meant for Felicity to find out about it _'he wasn't quite sure why he cared so much about what she thought concerning who he was sleeping with though' _but he still was trying to keep her away from that side of him. He should've known that she would have found out about it and _of course _it had to be the moment where it was blatantly obvious as to what occurred between him and the she-devil.

'_He couldn't keep putting space between Felicity and himself, at least not that way. It was the wrong way to go about it and she was right. Oliver _did _deserve better than a woman who put him and his friend down, even if it really did just mean _nothing_ to him' _he thought.

"_And there we have it ladies and gents, he finally got it!"_ she congratulated.

"So we're finished? Is it time for me to wake up yet?" Oliver asked hopeful.

_*snort* _"Not yet! We're still not even done with the present. You haven't even visited your mother or sister yet."

"So that's where we're headed next?" He asked, agitated once again. Even though he was technically _'out' _so to speak, it was still taxing to try and make sense of his feelings. He wanted nothing more than this nightmare to finally be over.

"_Yep!_ _Home sweet home" _she said sarcastically as the office around him disappeared and was slowly replaced by the walls of his bedroom.

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**Authors note: **Again, any mistakes I made are mine and mine alone. So we're still stuck in the present, I had thought about making the present all one chapter, but then this chapter didn't seem like it was ever going to end and I realized _with more words, come more mistakes _and thought that it was perhaps better to stop here. Now I can't update again tomorrow- really need to study for my geology final on Monday, but I do think I'll be able to update again Monday night- So see ya then, more to come for sure and feel free to leave a review. They're always nice to read. **Next up: new face to the subconscious **(any ideas who?) **and we meet Moira and the 'real' Thea. (^_^)***


	3. the present, part two

**Authors note: **I'm so sorry for the delay, I really had meant to get this out sooner today, but ah- today just got really hectic. So with out further ado, here's the second and final part of 'the present'. **Disclaimer: **Still don't own Arrow or it's characters sadly.

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**Chapter 3~ the present, part 2**

"_Yep! Home sweet home" she said sarcastically as the office around him disappeared and was slowly replaced by the walls of his bedroom._

As the room materialized in front of him, Oliver noticed that much like in his office, his bedroom wasn't exactly the same as it was in real life. He realized as he was looking around, that Thea or _'his subconscious' _as she liked to call herself was no longer in the room with him. Looking around he saw that behind the windows, there was a brick wall that only allowed some light to peek through and his bed was at the opposite side of his bedroom. Upon closer look, Oliver noticed that what were normally dark blue, the sheets were replaced with dark green instead and the same went for the curtains. The green color that replaced the blue in his bedroom was strikingly similar to that of his Arrow costume.

"_Wow_. Someone _really likes_ the color green_" _

Oliver turned his head to the unfamiliar voice. Upon realizing who was speaking he let out a sound that rivaled that of when the Arrow went up against hardened criminals. _'Maybe even the criminals who escaped from Iron Heights' _because Oliver was decidedly _not _happy with who was in front of him. The person scratched his ear and with the same hand he pointed at Oliver as he walked more into the room.

"Okay now, do I have to remind you not to get all _growly _with me again?" he said with an amused grin and with one eyebrow arched.

"_Roy Harper…" _Oliver spit out with his hands clenched at his sides.

"_Well looky here, he knows my name. _Well not… _my name _per say, but ah, bonus points for knowing the name of your sister's boyfriend" Roy said with an amused grin as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his standard red jacket.

"What. Are you doing here? What happened to Thea?" he said, not to thrilled on dealing with Thea's shadow.

"_Aw, you miss your Speedy? Uh, _well- _Sorry! _You can't always get what you want and as _'your sister' _she helped make the point that she needed to for the time being. _So uh…_new face? I know, I can tell that you don't like it, but _ah… I don't know, _consider this like- leveling up in a video game. New level, new character" Roy said with a shrug.

"'This doesn't make any sense?! How can any of _'this'_ be happening? This _isn't_ normal?! I'm knocked out,_ not_- well actually I don't know what happened. _Why is this happening?!"_ Oliver said pacing his bedroom.

Roy took a few seconds before answering, not quite sure how to go forward with an irrational Oliver.

"Well _um, _at least you asked another _'right' _question finally." Roy said noncommittally. Oliver snapped his head up to glare at Roy.

"What is that supposed to mean? Is there something _more _going on here that I don't know about?" Oliver questioned.

_*snort* _"There's _a lot_ more going on here than you realize, but you really shouldn't be focusing on_ that_ right now."

With Roy's words, Oliver's eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to concentrate on what he was missing. As far as Oliver knew, getting knocked out in alleyways didn't sign you up for a one way ticket for a showing of _your own_ 'Christmas Carol'. He wondered why he never questioned the dream until now, he guessed that it was probably because 'Thea' was with him and being around Roy was different, _unfamiliar. _He realized 'Roy' had to be right, there _was _a lot more this or else why wouldn't he remember who attacked him in the alleyway in the first place?

"And now, you're seeing the bigger the picture. I didn't think until now, that you'd ever see this more than just you learning to come to grips with your 'inner self' and maybe instead that there was something more far sinister at play here" Roy said. Before Oliver could reply, he heard yelling coming from outside his bedroom. He looked back to Roy questioningly, waiting for an explanation.

Roy shrugged and Oliver took it as a sign to investigate. Once Oliver went through the door and down the hall, the sounds got louder until he followed them down the stairs and into the living room. He really didn't know what he was expecting, but finding his mother and sister in an all out verbal match wasn't on the top of the list. Sure, he knew that often times Thea and his mother butted heads, but he just thought that was because they were so much alike- not that he would ever tell Thea that in fear that she would throw a tantrum _'which was also something he would never mention to her' _he thought.

So finding his mother and sister arguing about what seemed to be him was making him wish he had never left his room. Not that he really thought he had much of a choice, considering it was just really _himself _who was leading this. _'Who knew you could you could be an audience member of you own life' _

"Mom?! Why are you acting like this? He deserves to know. _I deserve to know!" _Thea yelled frustrated.

"Deserve to know _what _Thea? I'm not hiding anything" Moira replied indignantly.

"_Arg!? You are! _Why else would you be acting like this?" Thea accused. Oliver really didn't know what they were talking about _'at least, he didn't actively know what was going on' _

"_Now see this_? This is why I don't want to get on her bad side or 'Roy Harper' doesn't? _Great. _Now I'm confusing us again. _*snort* _To be honest I don't think either Oliver Queen or Roy Harper wants to get on Thea Queen's bad side. _Who knew you had something in common?" _Roy stated with a head tilt and a smile as he made his way to stand next to Oliver and to view the match as another spectator.

Before Oliver could deny Roy's statement, Moira replied back to Thea and Roy pointed to Oliver to pay attention to what was what going on.

"Thea, I am _not _hiding anything. What makes you think that I am?" Moira asked.

"_Oh gee I don't know_, maybe for the fact that ever since you've been back you haven't been acting like yourself. _No, excuse me. _I _have_ seen you like this before, right after Ollie told you that Walter had died and you seemed surprised. Not the same type of surprise though of a grieving widow because I've seen that look too and even then you knew what really happened the entire time- _Hell! _You knew it was going to happen and didn't even stop it…_or Ollie. _You didn't stop Ollie from going on the Gambit and we… _sigh… _we lost him that day… So after all of that, don't just stand there and tell me you're not hiding anything because I've gotten pretty good at telling when you're lying" Thea finished in a huff.

Oliver thought that all of the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room, if that was even possible. Even though, as his subconscious had reminded him with Felicity that all of this was just his imagination, he couldn't help but imagine this playing out in real life. It was just all _so… intense. _

"And why do you think that is? Why is… _this _getting to you?" Roy said as he waved at the scene. Oliver surmised that it had to do with the fact that ever since his mother had been arrested for her involvement in the Undertaking that they haven't had this discussion yet. Part of him realized that maybe they were both neglecting this particular conversation. Admitting her hand in the Undertaking was one thing, she would anything thing for her children- he knew that. But… admitting her involvement in the sabotage of the Gambit… that would be something else _entirely. _Consciously, he knew she had a hand in it, but talking about it out loud led to opening a whole can of worms he wasn't sure either was ready to get into yet. It meant that _she knew _what she was sending her husband and son onto, that would it lead to the death of his father and to him being stranded on an island literally named '_Hell'. He didn't know how they could ever go back to being the way they were, so they just continued- ironically it seemed as if they were floating the proverbial life raft._

Oliver did have to hand it his subconscious though, if there was really any way for this conversation to go down, it probably would be Thea who would bring it up. He felt as though it was oddly…_fitting. _Before he think more about his sudden realization about what he was ignoring in his relationship with his mother, the phone started to ring. Moira looked at Thea with an apologetic smile after she looked at the phone to see who was calling.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I really need to take this call. We'll talk more about this later, okay?" She said hesitantly.

_*Snort* "Sure, whatever. _It's not like we're running out of _time _or anything" Thea said with an eye roll as she left the room. As soon as Thea left the room, Moira waited until she was sure that her daughter had to be far enough away before answering who was ever on the phone.

"_Yes…I'm sure… I'm well aware of that…no, this- this isn't about the phoenix account. They don't know anything, leave them out of this…" _Moira said fiercely into the phone as she made her away out the room. Leaving Oliver and his 'subconscious' who was dressed as 'Roy' alone in the living room. Oliver went to follow Moira to find out what she was up to when suddenly the arch way that Moira had left turned into a solid wall. Startled, he backed away and made his way back to Roy.

"What- What just happened? Open that back up, we need to go after her. Something's not right" Oliver insisted.

*snort* "_At least we agree on something" _Roy muttered as he shook his head. "I can't, this is as far as we go for now. You've made your _'startling realization' _of the day and now we have to move on" Roy stated.

"_Move on?_ But, my mother is hiding something again and if it's anything like last time, then we need to figure out what it is. Thea was right, the look on her face- she's definitely mixed up in something again and I for one, want to make sure that it doesn't go as far as it did in the Undertaking" Oliver said while walking back up to the wall to try and find a way out. When he had looked back at Roy, he noticed that he had on a perplexed expression. "What" Oliver asked.

"_Um… _Not sure if it's escaped you or not, but ah _this?" _Roy motioned his hand around gesturing to the room that they were in. "_Yeah this ,_is just your imagination it- _isn't real_. What you just witnessed, _did not _and I reiterate this- _it did not in fact happen. _Your mother didn't just leave the room while on a suspicious phone call and your sister wasn't really here. Sorry to burst your bubble" he said sarcastically.

"But, it was important, wasn't it? Or else why would you have me witness that in the first place, why stop there when you did? And why did the 'Phoenix account' sound familiar?" Oliver asked, not hiding his bevy of questions which, by the look on Roy's face he could tell that Roy wasn't sure on how to answer him. Roy was scratching the back of his neck before he decided to reply to Oliver.

"Yeah… um. I'm…_not _going to answer any of those questions… Okay, look before you throttle me- think about this logically, okay? You subconsciously _'i.e. me' _already know the answers to your own questions. _Just… _think of it as just another puzzle piece, that- the more we go into this _'little self discovery tour' _the more pieces you'll pick up and eventually they will form a nice big _'hit me over the head, I should of seen it earlier' _sign. That'll make you feel incredibly stupid that you hadn't seen it from the beginning. And now, your next question will be something along the lines of _'well, why not just tell me now? Why make me wait?' _and that's a question I actually can answer and it's because there is a time and place for you to make that certain realization and I don't want you to go on sensory over load. Okay? We capiche?" Roy said with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, I guess so for now" Oliver conceded.

"You're really not going to fight me on this?" Roy asked disbelieving.

"No, maybe you're right. Part of me's noticed that I tend to be impulsive when it concerns the people I care about, I'm thinking that it might be something else I need to work on. That and I'm hoping if we move on, I can talk to someone else other than my sister's boyfriend" Oliver answered facetiously.

Roy snorted as he shrugged.

"Alright then, time to move on I guess" he said

"Where we are heading next? Past or future?" Oliver asked accepting of his fate of not being able to escape this nightmare just yet.

"Funny you should ask, it's… a bit of both, but not quite. We will see possible futures, but not yet. Instead of viewing the past, _which you've dwelled enough on as it is_- we're going to check out the what if's, the possible outcomes of had you not came back from the island" Roy stated and just like before, the room started dematerializing in front of Oliver.

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**Author's note: **Again any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone, granted there probably are few considering I finished this at 1:30 in the morning. Did anyone guess that it would be Roy to be the next face of the subconscious? I gotta say it was fun writing him. Also, I'm still in the middle of finals, two more classes I have to focus on and then I am done for the semester. YAY! That being said, probably can't update again until Friday, but the good news is that updates will be more frequent once this week is over with! I really want to try and finish this story before Christmas. Oh and thanks to all the nice reviews and follows- they've definitely made finals week much nicer, I really appreciate it. **Next up:**** beware of angst for the next few chapters and also new face to the subconscious **(again, any ideas who's next? I love hearing your theories) **(^_^)***


	4. possible outcomes, part one

**Authors note: **Sorry everyone, I wanted to get this out yesterday, but suddenly I was attacked my feels and wrote a one shot to another olicity fic- so the day wasn't a total waste. So I'm just going to leave that there and let you get on with the story. **Disclaimer: **I do not own Arrow or it's characters, if I did Tommy wouldn't of died.

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**Chapter 4~ Possible Outcomes, part 1**

"_Funny you should ask, it's… a bit of both, but not quite. We will see possible futures, but not yet. Instead of viewing the past, which you've dwelled enough on as it is- we're going to check out the what if's, the possible outcomes of had you not came back from the island" Roy stated and just like before, the room started dematerializing in front of Oliver._

As the room was finished coming together, Oliver was trying to put the pieces together as to where he was. He thought that it seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place from where. It was dark, with cement floors that went up the wall to the ceiling. There was plastic covering over a few walls as if where ever he was, there was reconstruction being done. On the side of him he could see a half wall that allowed you to see the night sky outside. Much like when he woke up, the city was dark- not a light could be seen, not even in the sky_. He hadn't darkness like this since he was on the island._

It didn't surprise him as he was looking around to find that he was alone, he supposed that every time they went somewhere that his subconscious went somewhere to change face. Although it didn't make sense to him, there wasn't much he could do about it. Oliver knew there was a lot he could handle, but after so long just trying to survive and keep the people closest to him safe he began to wonder when he was going to reach his breaking point. _If he hadn't already that is…_

While walking around the large room, he heard a metallic sound. If he was correct, then he would guess that it sounded a lot like a rifle hitting up against a wall, poised to hit its target. When Oliver followed the sound further into the room and noticed that he wasn't in fact alone, the person was slightly bending while looking into the scope of the rifle. Oliver could see the band that went around the man's head that came to together at the left eye with a red scope in the midle…_Deadshot_

Suddenly Oliver knew exactly where he was. He was where Diggle had found out about his secret and had gotten shot with the poison bullet trying to protect him. He had no idea why he would be here though, _what would be the point in showing this to him?_

Oliver heard footsteps coming from behind him and turned around to see Diggle come through the door that led from the staircase. He noted that Diggle looked surprised at Deadshot, but it wasn't so much a look of surprise that someone would have finding the person who was taking the people out below across the street… it was more of look of surprise to find someone that you recognized. Before Oliver could question further what was going on, Diggle spoke out with his gun drawn.

"_You… I know you. You killed my brother" _Diggle said.

"_John Diggle, _well isn't this a surprise. Can't say I saw this coming, say have seen your brother lately?... No? Well I wonder why that is." Deadshot taunted.

"_You son of a bitch!?" _Digg roared as he aimed his gun towards Deadshot. With his finger on the trigger, it only took seconds for Oliver to hear to the sound of a gun going off. Stupefied in his spot, he couldn't believe what just happened and it took him a moment to process what just occurred…

_"No?!... this- this wasn't supposed to happen. It didn't happen this way… wha-" _Oliver finished out in a breath as he looked down at the body of the man who was paid protect him. _His bodyguard, his partner- his friend._

Diggle wasn't fast of enough and the gunshot that Oliver heard came from the same man who had taken all those lives out below. When Oliver turned to look at Digg's murderer, he noticed that Deadshot was still-frozen in time. While he was confused about that, it didn't matter as much to him as the fact that he just witnessed the death of his friend. _Another person that Oliver had to watch die._

"And to think, he was killed by the same man who murdered his brother. Quite sad, wouldn't ya say?"

Oliver turned around to the person that just entered the scene. He realized that finally his subconscious had joined him, but he couldn't help but be confused as to who it ended being this time. Oliver squinted his eyes at the person and replied _"Detective Lance?"_

"Yep, I like to switch it up every now and then. It keeps you on your toes, doesn't it?" Lance said as he crouched down near Digg's body.

"I guess I should say something cop-like right about now, huh? _Because we're at the scene of crime_" He said sarcastically. Once Lance looked up he saw that Oliver had not appreciated his ill-timed humor. "Or maybe later…_*sigh*" _He grimaced and looked away as he stood up. Oliver walked closer to him glaring at him and waving to Digg.

"_This _shouldn't have happened, it didn't go like this" Oliver said vehemently. Lance looked at him with his hands on his hips and his face jutted out a bit over his chest, giving Oliver a questioning look.

"Yeah, your right, but why didn't it happen this way. Huh?" he asked.

"Because I was there, I stopped it from happening" As if it was the answer that Lance was looking for, he stuck out one of his hands using it to stress to Oliver the importance of that realization.

"_Exactly. _Because you were there, you were able to stop Deadshot from takin' him out" he said as he licked his lips.

"Look, do you see the point that I'm trying to make? Are you getting the picture" Lance asked.

"Yeah, I see what you're doing and while I appreciate the thought. I don't really believe that Diggle is alive because I was there to save him. If it wasn't for me, then he wouldn't of been there that night in the first place. My mother never would've hired him, he'd would've probably been with Carly" Oliver said as he flexed his jaw and took a deep breath.

"_Or- or_ he would of been closer to finding his brother's killer. You saw as he walked in that he recognized Deadshot- right? Did he know who killed his brother before he met you? No?" Lance leaned his head towards Oliver questioningly. Oliver just shook his head, denying the thought.

Lance just sighed; he realized that he still wasn't getting through to Oliver, at least not to the extent that he wanted to. Lance figured that was _only the beginning _of this particular chapter, Oliver still had a long ways to go.

"Can you _really_ say that you're positive that John Diggle wouldn't of been there that night? Hmm? Cause I gotta ya, I'm not buying that bs. There's_ no way in hell _that you could be right about that. That night Diggle found out about you was a turning point in both of your lives, you _both_ helped each other come to terms with certain things. You helped him by saving him from his brother's killer and helped him find Deadshot. He helped you by making you take stock of the things in your life, to not let the hood become everything you are. _To find a balance_" Lance told him as he put his hand on Oliver's shoulder.

"Maybe your right, maybe by me coming back I saved him… But was I only delaying the inevitable? Because the longer he works for me, the higher the chance he dies because of me" Oliver said

Lance let out a frustrated groan and Oliver once again thought to himself how odd it was to have his subconscious annoyed with him when they were really were just one in the same. With that thought, Lance looked up to him with peculiar expression.

"_Are we really? _The same, I mean. Because if we really were the same, then you'd believe when I'd show you how everything in your life isn't always _your fault_. Why do think that is? Why are you not agreeing with me" he asked looking at Oliver as if it was him who was the odd one.

"What do mean? Are we not the same? You said you were my subconscious, if you're not- then what are you?" Oliver asked observing him as if it was the first time that they'd met. While as the spectator to the show stood there fidgeting, trying with wide eyes to not look Oliver in the face.

"You know what? Forget I said anything and remember how there is a _time and place_ for you to make a certain realization and right now- _that is not the time_. I can see that _uh_… _this _didn't do the trick, so…_uh…_let's move on to someone else because by the time we're finished you're going to see how _everyone_ in your life benefits from having _you in it." _Lance said.

"_No-_ no, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me wh-" before Oliver could start his interrogation, the walls started deteriorating right in front of him like before and his _'subconscious'_ was gone yet again.

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**Authors note: **So...plot twist- what'd ya think? I love writing when things like this happen, tbh I'm along for this ride as much as you guys are. I'm letting it take me where ever it's going and writing it down as I see it happening, I only ever have a rough sketch of what I want to see happen in each chapter- but it's starting to take more of life of its own. On another note: how did you guys fair after the mid-season finale? I swear it gave me some things to think about, originally I had this chapter down to either Detective Lance or Slade- which is why it took me so long to figure this chapter out but for seem reason Detective Lance won out. Let me know what you guys think and if I managed to do Lance any justice. Thank you everyone for the reviews and follows again! I really appreciated it. And again this is only the first part of _possible outcomes, _there will be quite a few chapters for it and you'll start to see more frequent updates because _I am done with finals! Yay! _**Next up: Oliver tries to interrogate some more and we see what would've happened to Thea and Moira had Oliver not come back. The 'subconscious' may change face again **(let me know if you think he should or not)**. ****(^_^)***


	5. possible outcomes, part two

**Author's note: **Yay! Two updates in two days. Since this is chapter is split up into separate parts, I'm going to try and update them more quickly. Though I should warn you that this chapter- loads of tears, I know last chapter- while sad, was more of a filler chapter. I just wasn't really into writing the last chapter, this time was different though and it was hard to write it because it gave me too many sad feels. Well enough spoiling, I'll let get to it. Enjoy and I'm _sorry- _you may hate me at the end of this. **Disclaimer: **Still don't own Arrow or it's character, if I did- they would be living on some nice, beautiful, peaceful island- _oh wait..._

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**Chapter 5~ Possible Outcomes, part 2**

"_No- no, I'm not going anywhere not until you tell me wh-" before Oliver could start his interrogation, the walls started deteriorating right in front of him like before and his 'subconscious' was gone yet again. _

"_That needs_ to stop happening." Oliver bit out. He looked at his surroundings to find himself on a two lane highway in the middle of the night. On either side of the road all he could see were tall trees going up and down the stretch for what looked to go on for miles, he thought that the further he looked- the more hazy the view. It was a lot like what you see on a summer day and when you looked at the road from far away and the air looked wavy. He didn't think it was possible for that happen at night though, he guessed that it served as a reminder that all of this was just a dream and he wasn't actually standing in the middle of the road in the dark. He wondered again why all this was happening and for the first time he thought that maybe this wasn't a side effect from passing out from blood loss- that perhaps he was put here by _something or someone…_

If Oliver thought he was frustrated before this, then he was sorely mistaken_- scratch that-_ he wasn't frustrated- _he was downright angry. _If there was anything Oliver hated the most, then it would be being _manipulated- _especially when the person manipulating you was right in front of you the_ entire _time. He didn't trust people often; rarely did he ever let them in. His own sister didn't even know the other side of him, the Hood side. _The part that was a protector, a killer, a fighter, a survivor- _it was who he was and his own sister and mother didn't know that about him.

Even the ones privy to his secret didn't entirely know him. While Diggle and Felicity where there towards the start of his crusade, they _really_ didn't know everything that drove him to into being the Hood. They didn't know what exactly happened on the Lian Yu that made him the person he was today. He was certain that they had their suspicions though, Digg probably more so then Felicity could guess what had happened. Digg had seen men and women come back from war and knew the signs of PTSD, while Oliver wasn't clinically diagnosed with it, he knew he wasn't the most sanest when he came back. So more often than not, Digg knew how to go about asking him if he was alright. Of course Oliver wasn't completely alright- no one would be after everything he's been through, but they both knew what Digg was always referring to. _They both had their fair share of ghosts._

Diggle wasn't the only who could read him though. Somehow when Oliver met Felicity, they just… _connected. _Sure their relationship hadn't gotten off on the most honest start _'which was on him entirely' _but she forgave him for it. She _always_ forgave him and that just baffled him. He didn't know how anyone could be so forgiving towards him, led alone care for him the way she did. He knew she liked him, at least was attracted to him in the beginning. He knew her feelings went deeper since they've known each other. '_It wasn't always one sided' _he thought. At first her attraction to him was what he used whenever he needed her help. He would just put on his charm and offer her things- things like red wine_ 'which I just realized I never actually gave her' _He scoffed, '_of course I didn't' _because _really _when didn't he use people so they could do what he wanted them to do. _He really didn't know why she forgave him or had put up with his lies in the beginning or all of the times that being his 'girl Friday' had put her in danger. He wished that she wasn't as forgiving towards him as she was._

"Maybe that's because you haven't forgiven yourself yet" the familiar voice said from behind him.

'_No, no it couldn't be her. Anybody, but her' _Oliver thought unnerved as he turned around to face her.

"_Shado…" _Oliver breathed out. He took a gulp to swallow up the guilt he was feeling by seeing her.

"Hello Oliver, it's been a long time hasn't it?" She said smiling to him sadly.

"No, no- you're not really here. _Shado's dead! _You're not _her_, you're not even my subconscious- _you lied to me! _Who are you!? What are you?!" Oliver questioned hotly, shaking his head and coming up close to her. _He wasn't going to let her get him by putting on Shado's face, someone he wouldn't want to hurt. He was going to get some answers._

"_...sighs… _Oliver I know you want your answers, but I _cannot _give them to you. _Not yet at least. _You will get the answers you seek, but for now- _you have to trust me" _Shado pleaded to him.

"_Trust you?! _How the _Hell_ can I trust you when you've been lying to me from the start? _Huh? _I am done playing your games- you're going to tell me what is going on right now" He ordered.

"_A game? _You think I'm playing _a game_ with you? Oliver, Lian Yu was _a game_ compared to this. _This, _Oliver- is anything but a game- It's _your life_, and it's everyone that you cares about life. Everything that I've shown you, taught you and still you only thought of this as _a game_. I'm sorry for that" While she had started berating him quiet passionately, she ended what she was saying out in a tired, disappointed tone. Before Oliver could continue with his interrogation, _'Shado' _took a deep breath and started speaking again.

"I'm sorry you feel the way that you do Oliver, but I can't change what's happening or what has happened to you. The only thing I can do is try and direct you onto the right path. To allow you to see hidden truths about yourself that you hadn't noticed before. I guarantee you that once this is over, everything will become much clearer and you'll be able to walk free- _unburdened by your past_" she said as she put her hand on his arm. "I apologize again because I'm not allowed to explain to you what I am… I wasn't completely lying to you though, I am a part of your subconscious… and I'm also _very_ sorry for what you're about to witness" she told him.

"What-" Oliver started to ask, but was interrupted. This time though it wasn't because his 'subconscious' had stopped him from getting his words out.

He heard tires squealing against the pavement and headlights suddenly appeared behind him. The convertible was going extremely fast and before he could even think about getting out of the way- it just went right through him, as if he wasn't even there. After a few seconds of trying to get his breathing under control that was caused by that brief second of believing he was going to be flattened, Oliver turned around to follow the line to of destruction the car was leaving in its wake. It was only then as his eyes were trailing the car that he realized in fear where he recognized it from.

'_Oh no… No, no, no. This can't be happening' _he thought.

"_NO! THEA!" _Oliver shouted and with horror, he watched as Thea's car went off the road, farther down a hill at break point speed until it all came to an abrupt halt as it hit a large redwood tree. It only took seconds for this happen, but Oliver thought he was seeing it in slow motion. Before Shado could stop him, he was running towards the crash, trying to get to Thea- hoping he could stop her death from playing out in front of him.

As he got closer to her, he noticed that the car started smoking. Once he got to the driver's side he tried to open her door, but he painfully realized he couldn't get his hand to grasp the handle. His hand just sort of fazed right through it. _It was as if _he_ was the ghost…_With tears running down his face, he looked at his little sister who was not conscious. Thea's head was against the steering wheel, she had blood running down her temple and the glass that was shattered from the windshield was everywhere in the surrounding area. She had cuts from the glass and it looked like her arm was jammed between her door and the steering wheel. Every second that she didn't wake, weighed heavy on his heart…_he needed her to wake up._

"_Come on Thea_, I can't get you out. I need you to wake up, I can't watch this happen. _You need to get up! Wake up Thea! _The car's not safe. _Wake up!" _As if she heard him shouting, she gasped awake.

She lifted her head slowly from the steering wheel, he could see her trying to blink her eyes awake, but half way from trying to sit herself up she stopped. Her arm was still stuck and no matter how many times she tried to move it, it wouldn't budge. She was too weak, too tired to fully function, but it didn't stop her from realizing that the smoke coming from the engine was starting to form a fire.

With startling clarity, both Thea and Oliver understood what was going to happen next and there would be no way of stopping it. _The car was going to burst into flames with Thea still stuck inside. She was about to die…_

Thea started panicking, hysterically she tried with her other hand to get her door open and free herself, but it was to no avail. Coming to terms with what was about to happen, she laid her head back onto the steering wheel. Both Oliver and Thea were crying while _'Shado'_ stood behind him- sadly observing the scene between the brother and sister. Oliver really couldn't believe what he was witnessing. He didn't understand why Thea was giving up. He crouched down near her door so he could be at her level as she turned her head to lay in the direction that unknowingly was faced towards him.

"_Come one Thea- fight, _you're not supposed to die- _not like this. _You were supposed to go to school, get a degree. Find someone, have a- a bunch of… children and then…and then die of ol-old age…" Oliver said choking on his words as tears left behind wet tracks down his face. _'This was not supposed to happen' _he thought.

"I-I'm sorry Ollie, I tried- I really tried _*hiccup* _but I can't do _this_ anymore. You're not here, dad's dead and mom's not herself these days…_I wish you here" _she said quietly, crying as she was trying to get her words out.

Oliver came to the startling thought that Thea believed she was about to die_… alone._

"Thea, _Thea I am here. _I'm right here with you. You're not alone_" _he tried comfort her, but he knew sadly that his words weren't getting to her. _She couldn't hear him…_

Within the moments he said the words, the fire began to get out of control and Shado grabbed on to his arm to pull him away from the burning vehicle. With grief, Oliver watched the convertible go up in flames with his sister trapped, screaming for help. The scene was so painfully realistic that he knew once he woke up from this nightmare that this would still be with him. _That this would be one waking nightmare that he wouldn't be able to escape. _Even though it was only in his head, it branded into his mind that something like this could very well still happen.

He just stood there, with guilt eating at him that he couldn't save her from this- having to listen to his sister's cries until all he heard was the roaring fire of the car being incinerated. He couldn't believe this happened, he couldn't believe that he _watched_ it happen. '_This was sick, why is someone putting me through this Hell? What purpose did this serve? To make me feel guilty? Well, they were already too late for that' _Oliver thought as he continued to watch the burning scene.

"This wasn't to make you feel guilty Oliver. It was supposed to show what would have happened had you not come back from the Lian Yu…Don't you remember this happening, shortly after you came back?" Shado asked. The question made Oliver explode in anger and he turned around to face her.

"_Yes,_ _I remember?!_ But I also remember that Thea survived the crash. _This _didn't happen that way- _she lived. _So if you're trying to convince me that by being back, that I somehow was the reason she survived- then you're wrong. I wasn't even there to stop this from happening. There's no way she lived because of me" he said angrily as he tried to turn around and face the wreckage again, but he was stopped by Shado's hands on his arms forcing him to look back at her.

"_Yes Oliver. _It was because of you that she survived the crash. You saw her back there, she had no fight. She was tired, she didn't want to survive it because you and I both know when were at are weakest, is when we become our strongest- _only_ _that is, if you even want_ _to fight at all…_and that look on her face- that wasn't the look of someone who wanted to continue living. With her brother back, she was less self-destructive and wasn't teetering too far off the edge. She was close enough, for you to reach out to her, teach her balance… So yes Oliver, you _are_ the reason the reason she survived that crash. You're the reason why she didn't die that night alone because as much as Tommy tried, it wasn't him that could bring her back to reality- _It was you…" _Shado finished.

For once Oliver could actually say that he was close to believing what his _'subconscious' _was trying to tell him. Maybe he could believe that him coming back led to something good to actually happen, but… he wasn't so sure about where the others would've stood. He still firmly believed that most people in his life would've been better off without him. _Better with him stranded on the island,_ _on his own personal Hell. _

"Well then, it's a good thing that we're not finished with this part then. There's still quite a few _what if's_ that you have to see" she said and as if on cue, his surrounding disappeared and he was left wondering where they we're headed next.

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**Author's note: **_So...do you hate me? _I know, I know- that was sad. As much as it was sad read I'm guessing, it was twice as sad to actually write it. Again and any all mistakes I made are mine, they maybe a few- I only re-read I wrote a couple of times. Anyway, thank you again for the reviews and follows for last chapter, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep Lance or not and with what happened in the last episode with Shado- I just figured it would be nice see her again. Please feel free to leave a review and maybe even drop off a hint at who you want to see next as the 'subconscious'. **Next up: I know, I lied- we didn't see Moira in this chapter, so you will see her next time. Maybe with a few others too and the subconscious may or may not change faces again. See ya next time. (^_^)***


	6. possible outcomes, part three

**Author's note: **It's way past Christmas for this update. I'm really sorry, the holidays came in and wiped me out. The good news is though, I'm back to school and while that doesn't seem like good news- _it really is, at least for my stories._ I love to use these as distractions from school, so you should be seeing a weekly update. Enough about this though, on to the story.

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**Chapter 6~ Possible Outcomes, part 3**

"_Well then, it's a good thing that we're not finished with this part then. There's still quite a few what if's that you have to see" she said and as if on cue, his surrounding disappeared and he was left wondering where they were headed next. _

When Oliver came to, he was surprised to find that it was daylight instead of the dreary darkness that he was use to. He found himself standing alone in front of the steps of the Starling City Court House. If Oliver hadn't spotted the differences, then he could've easily tricked himself into believing that he had woken up, but unfortunately his surroundings weren't anything like they would be in reality. Besides the windows and doors not being in the correct position and lamp posts being upside down, they weren't what tipped him off. _No,_ it was the fact that he was _alarmingly_ alone that lead him to see the truth in the false picture in front of him. _It was a ghost town… no one in sight. Not on the sidewalks, not even in buildings it seemed Not even his annoying guide._

What was even more bizarre was the fact that wherever he was- _in his mind or if he was somewhere else altogether- _there seem to be…_wind. _

'_As if this wasn't weird enough' _he thought shaking his head.

Before he could take a step, he felt something brush his leg. When he glanced down at his feet, he realized that it was a newspaper and he bent down to pick it up.

Oliver looked at the top right corner of the paper and recognized the date. With a gasp he realized it was a week after the Undertaking occurred. _A week after Tommy died and the deaths of over five hundred people in the Glades, a week after he left everyone to deal with the fallout on their own while he escaped the city._

When he caught site of the headline, he felt like he was going to be sick. He had to read the story over a few times to make sure he was reading it correctly and each time he painfully hoped for the words to rearrange themselves to say something other than what he was currently reading. But it was in vain.

"_Starling City Register~ Overthrowing the Queen" _

'_As the public calls for Moira Queen to plead guilty to the destruction of the Glades and the mass murder of the 2,152 lives that were lost during what was called the 'Undertaking', the city continues to get worse as crime and vandalism escalate._

_It has been a horrid year for Queen already, with the mysterious disappearance of her second husband, Walter Steele, CEO of Queen Consolidated and the fiery crash that claimed her daughter, Thea Queen's life eight months before, it is a wonder to see how someone could perpetually live under a black cloud. Queen, as we know had previously lost her first husband, Robert Queen, founder and then CEO of Queen Consolidated and her son, Oliver Queen five years ago on the Gambit, never to be seen while lost at sea. She admitted that she had a hand in the Undertaking. Queen stated it was the fear that the CEO of Merlyn Global Group, Malcolm Merlyn would harm her and her family that had kept her from reaching out to seek help. While that may have kept her quiet, the public does not see it as a good enough reason for her to get off the death penalty. _

_Since the Dark Archer is no longer around, there has been an outcry in the city for someone to be brought to justice for destruction in the Glades and of the lives lost. While it seems to be quite soon, the citizens of Starling City have been crying out for someone to be held accountable for tragedy. More to come as we follow the trial which will be taking place at the beginning of this week. It is surely to keep everyone on edge.' – Catherine Grant of The Starling City Register._

Oliver couldn't understand what he had just read, it didn't make any sense- the death total was wrong; Walter should've been found by now; and Thea should be alive. _This was all wrong._

"Well, that's what would've happened had you not made it back to Starling in time for Merlyn to put his plan into place" the voice behind him said.

He turned around to face the one other person who seemed to be trapped with him in the ghost town inside his head. Oliver felt relieved for once that his guide had chosen someone who he didn't have such a long and difficult relationship with. He didn't think he could handle facing another person who he felt that the overwhelming amount of guilt towards. While he had disappointed the face of his new guide before, he had been able to patch things up with them and fix what he had done to let them down. Even though it had taken quite some time and he had to travel to the other side of the world to sort out that particular problem, it was able to allow his friend to move on and reconcile with his ex-wife.

"Diggle" Oliver said with a nod.

"You can call me that if you'd like" Diggle said noncommittally.

"What else would I call you?" Oliver questioned.

"For now you can call me Diggle, but let's get back on track Oliver- the news paper. What are your thoughts on it?" Diggle inquired, craning his head to gesture towards the newspaper that was in Oliver's hand.

"This isn't right, it didn't happen this way. There wasn't this many people who died, Thea was alive and I had already rescued Walter by now. What happened?" Oliver asked.

"We've already been over this Oliver. Where was the last place you are at?" Digg asked rhetorically and continued.

"The last place you were at- was at the scene of your sister's death. You saw her car go up in flames, I told you that's what would've happened had you not come home from the island. _That's_ what all of this is about. _Had I not made myself clear to you yet?_" Digg said voicing out his current frustration with Oliver.

"All of this connects to each other, everything you see that happens here, is caused by you not making it back. This would've all happened. Diggle's death, Thea's death, the deaths over two thousand lives in the Glades and some deaths you haven't been made aware of yet. _Face it Oliver, this is the world it would've created_" Digg revealed as he put his hands on Oliver's shoulders, pointing out the severity of the situation.

Oliver swallowed as he stepped away from his guide. He was having a hard time coming to grips with this new reality. '_Could one person really make such a difference?' _he asked himself.

"It depends on the person. Think about all the lives you've saved since you've been back, hmm? Would they've really been better off without you?... Why don't you think that one over for a bit and focus your attention to the scene in front of you" Digg gestured for Oliver to look at the top of the stairs of the court house.

Oliver didn't understand what was happening- _like that was anything new- _but one moment he was standing alone with his guide and the next there was a flurry of movement and loud sounds of conversations taking place all at once. He looked to the top of the steps of the courthouse and he saw reporters and camera people surrounding someone, following them down the steps. It was hard to make out who it was, but then the crowd got closer and Oliver realized that it was his mother and her lawyer friend, Jean making their way to the car at the bottom of the steps.

Oliver took a closer look at his mother and noticed the amount despair clearly written on her face. He had never seen her look so hopeless, the dark circles under eyes were more pronounced, the worry lines looked like that had been permanently etched onto her face and her skin had grey pallor to it. He realized that in this moment she was all alone. _She had no one to fight for her and no one to live for._

He remembered that in reality that his mother- while she had felt remorse and guilt, she had chosen to fight against what the prosecutors wanted for her children's sake. Oliver had still felt though as if she had been hiding something other than her affair with Malcolm Merlyn and had thought maybe she was fighting something else entirely that he was completely unaware of.

Feeling nauseous, he turned away. He couldn't stand to see the scene in front of him anymore, so he found himself facing the west side of the court house while his mother and the mob of reporters followed her towards the street. Out of morbid curiosity, he kept wanting to glance back to his mother, but before he could turn his head he spotted another spectator who was viewing the chaotic scene with a look of disgust and contempt. _Laurel._

When she turned around to leave, Oliver made a move to follow her, but found it difficult to when Digg grabbed onto his arm. His guide shook his head and began to speak.

"Not yet. Follow me" Diggle stated as he turned away and began to walk in the opposite direction of where Oliver had been planning to follow.

Before Oliver could even blink or follow Diggle, the scene suddenly changed. Not prepared for the change in scenery it took him a few moments to realize where he was.

The furniture looked familiar, as did the décor with the red couch and the brick wall in the back that met the surrounding white walls in the rest of the apartment. When he looked out the window to see if he recognized the street, he noticed that it was no longer daylight and the sky was back to it perpetually inky black color. As he looked towards the street name, he suddenly remembered where he was- _he was in Laurel's apartment._

Oliver looked away from the window and went on to study the room he was in. Like everywhere else, there were slight changes of the odd sort that were blatant reminders of the current state he was in. He noticed that he wasn't alone in the room and for once his guide hadn't changed its face after the scene change.

As if on cue the front door opened and in walked the owner of the apartment. With a loud bang, Laurel slammed the door shut and quickly made her way to the kitchen. He watched as she threw her bag and brief case hard on the counter and ripped her coat off her shoulders. Not caring where it landed, she threw it to the floor. She went into one of drawers and grabbed to what looked like an orange pill bottle. Oliver was shocked as he looked on to see her swallowing more pills than he thought she should be allowed to and he offhandedly thought that she probably wasn't prescribed of those either. Laurel continued onto her destructive path by following the pills up with a large glass and bottle of her standard white wine that she _always _seem to have on hand.

He knew she had her problems in the real world. For the past several months, he'd seen her spiraling out of control as he helplessly watched. He wanted to help, he really did, but Oliver knew that he could only do so much. Not even her father it seemed could get through to her and if her own father couldn't, then there was no way that Laurel would be receptive to his help.

Oliver understood the scene for what it was- it held a shocking resemblance to reality. He realized that Laurel's lack of stability wasn't _his _doing. _It had nothing to do with him. No matter what, if he was here or not- she was always going to end up this way. This wasn't his fault. She wasn't his fault._

"For once, I didn't have to point it out. You're making progress, I'm impressed" his guide congratulated with pat on his shoulder.

Oliver felt apart of himself feeling a bit lighter and with that realization he felt a charge go through him. He couldn't tell if it was the epiphany that he just had that caused the shock or if maybe he was being shocked on the outside. He briefly wondered what could be happening while he was here or how long he's been in this dream world for. It could be days, months or hours and Oliver wouldn't be able tell as to which one it could be. As he thought about that, Laurel and her apartment were dissolving in front of him and his surroundings were changing- _again. _

He found himself in a long, dark hallway that looked to be underground- much like the one he had to go through to rescue Walter, but while it looked similar, he didn't think that that was where he was. Oliver looked around for his guide, but they seemed to have disappeared as well. If Oliver had to guess, then he would say that they left to change their face.

"You'd guess right. It looks like you're just batting a thousand today buddy. You're on a roll with making these realizations. It's like there's no work necessary. Way to take my fun away" the new guide admonished.

The voice caused Oliver to go rigid. While he thought there was a good chance of this happening- _he had been expecting it really- _he just didn't think it would happen when he least expected it to.

_He should've known better._

"Oh well, come on now. Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I still can't keep you on your toes. Has the spark died with us already?"

Oliver swallowed.

"_Tommy…" _

"_Hey buddy" _Tommy said with a sad smile.

* * *

**Authors note: **Thanks for all of the follows and reviews everyone- they really made happy and I really appreciate it. I foresee three more chapters before Oliver wakes up, which means I have a total of the next four chapters planned out, but I want to know if you guys maybe would like to see how Oliver approaches each character he's seen in each of these chapter when he's awake as he did here while he was asleep. We'd see him with each character per chapter as we have been already, it would just be in actual reality. So feel free to leave your opinion, we still haven't made it there yet so there's still time to figure it out- _but don't take that as sign not to review because please do, there always nice to read. _And about the news paper article, please go easy on me. That was the first time I'd ever written one into a story, but it was fun to write though. **Next up: we see more of Tommy and we meet up with Felicity again. (^_^)***


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